I was told time and time again that kind of like love, you'll know when you know. I had been having consistent Braxton Hicks contractions for days, I was dilated at 3 cm and 80% effaced. At around 3 p.m. on February 08th "I knew."
The contractions started slowly. Nathan and I had decided that morning after an appointment with our doctor, that we were not going to be writing down the contractions anymore. Nathan made a call to Bridget at 5 to share with her that we were going into labor. The advice was to just relax, eat lightly and distract ourselves with a movie. At around 6 we decided it was best to take a shower. The water felt good on my back and on my body as it tensed during contractions. I then lay in bed at attempted to watch The Office, moaning with each contraction and going from the bed to the couch and back to the bed. At 8p.m. Nathan called Swedish Covenant and spoke with the doctor on call. The contractions were now 4 minutes apart and we were advised to come when we felt ready. At 8 thirty, with hospital bag in tow, Nathan and I left for the hospital. I don't remember much of the ride . . . my body and mind concentrating on deep breathing.
As we arrived at Swedish, we headed to the labor and delivery wing. I remember walking down what seemed like an impossibly long hall to the nurses station. They immediately put us in a room and before I knew it, I had a heart monitor strapped to my arm and was being asked questions about my sexual history and use of "street drugs". Shortly after we arrived, Bridget was there. An internal exam was done by the Resident on call and I was at 5 cm. The contractions became increasingly intense and I decided to labor in the tub. As I sit in the tub, jets soothing me a bit, I grabbed onto both Nathan and Bridget's hands at each contraction. The words "you're doing it, you can do this" were repeated to me often and gave me the confidence to listen to my body. As I lay in the tub and the contractions became closer and closer I decided I wanted an epidural. I had told myself going into labor that if I wanted an epidural I would get one and not feel guilty about it. After consulting with Nathan, I decided it was the best decision for me.
About an hour later it was administered when I was at 8cm. That hour was one of the longest hours of my life. Once you make a decision for pain relief . . . you want it immediately. The needle went into my back and within moments I felt relief. The epidural was local and I was told I would start to feel sensation again as the baby moved down. For the next three hours we watched Breakfast at Tiffany's, talked about what the pushing would feel like and relaxed. My body thanked me. Relief.
At around 2:30 I started to have sensation again with the contractions. Now they were about 1 to 2 minutes apart. At 3:30 I started to push. With each push I took a deep breath, put my chin into my chest, legs up and pushed with everything I had. I cannot express what this was like in words. I only know that at this point, my body was in charge and my body did some amazing things. I pushed until 7:09. Toward the end of the pushing, Nathan came on the bed behind me and held my body at each push. In between pushes my body would rest and I would fall asleep. It was an indescribable sleep because it was so short but so deep. When I would open my eyes I saw Nathan to my right, Bridget to my left and Dr. Thorpe at the end of the bed. I remember so desperately wanting her to put on her splash shield because I knew that meant Sanne was coming. I kept asking how much longer . . . I needed to quantify the experience but Dr. Thorpe assured me that she would come when she was ready. I decided that she was waiting for the sun to rise. Around 6:30, everything started to crecendo . . . a table full of tools to stitch me arrived, the baby's nurses came into the room, the splash shield was put on and I knew that she was close. Nathan and I both watched as Sanne came out of my body . . . blue, full of vernix. . . and then she was on my chest. Crying. Beautiful. Vulnerable.
Time stood still. We had our baby. Sanne was here.
And as I held her on my chest the world faded away. It was almost as if labor had never happened. I vaguely remember being stiched and cleaned. I don't remember Nathan leaving the bed or cutting the cord. I barely remember the french toast breakfast.
In a matter of minutes my life changed. I was no longer pregnant. I was a mother. And I was more in love with my supportive husband than ever before. Her father.
And we were connected . . . we were now a family . . . we were in love.
The contractions started slowly. Nathan and I had decided that morning after an appointment with our doctor, that we were not going to be writing down the contractions anymore. Nathan made a call to Bridget at 5 to share with her that we were going into labor. The advice was to just relax, eat lightly and distract ourselves with a movie. At around 6 we decided it was best to take a shower. The water felt good on my back and on my body as it tensed during contractions. I then lay in bed at attempted to watch The Office, moaning with each contraction and going from the bed to the couch and back to the bed. At 8p.m. Nathan called Swedish Covenant and spoke with the doctor on call. The contractions were now 4 minutes apart and we were advised to come when we felt ready. At 8 thirty, with hospital bag in tow, Nathan and I left for the hospital. I don't remember much of the ride . . . my body and mind concentrating on deep breathing.
As we arrived at Swedish, we headed to the labor and delivery wing. I remember walking down what seemed like an impossibly long hall to the nurses station. They immediately put us in a room and before I knew it, I had a heart monitor strapped to my arm and was being asked questions about my sexual history and use of "street drugs". Shortly after we arrived, Bridget was there. An internal exam was done by the Resident on call and I was at 5 cm. The contractions became increasingly intense and I decided to labor in the tub. As I sit in the tub, jets soothing me a bit, I grabbed onto both Nathan and Bridget's hands at each contraction. The words "you're doing it, you can do this" were repeated to me often and gave me the confidence to listen to my body. As I lay in the tub and the contractions became closer and closer I decided I wanted an epidural. I had told myself going into labor that if I wanted an epidural I would get one and not feel guilty about it. After consulting with Nathan, I decided it was the best decision for me.
About an hour later it was administered when I was at 8cm. That hour was one of the longest hours of my life. Once you make a decision for pain relief . . . you want it immediately. The needle went into my back and within moments I felt relief. The epidural was local and I was told I would start to feel sensation again as the baby moved down. For the next three hours we watched Breakfast at Tiffany's, talked about what the pushing would feel like and relaxed. My body thanked me. Relief.
At around 2:30 I started to have sensation again with the contractions. Now they were about 1 to 2 minutes apart. At 3:30 I started to push. With each push I took a deep breath, put my chin into my chest, legs up and pushed with everything I had. I cannot express what this was like in words. I only know that at this point, my body was in charge and my body did some amazing things. I pushed until 7:09. Toward the end of the pushing, Nathan came on the bed behind me and held my body at each push. In between pushes my body would rest and I would fall asleep. It was an indescribable sleep because it was so short but so deep. When I would open my eyes I saw Nathan to my right, Bridget to my left and Dr. Thorpe at the end of the bed. I remember so desperately wanting her to put on her splash shield because I knew that meant Sanne was coming. I kept asking how much longer . . . I needed to quantify the experience but Dr. Thorpe assured me that she would come when she was ready. I decided that she was waiting for the sun to rise. Around 6:30, everything started to crecendo . . . a table full of tools to stitch me arrived, the baby's nurses came into the room, the splash shield was put on and I knew that she was close. Nathan and I both watched as Sanne came out of my body . . . blue, full of vernix. . . and then she was on my chest. Crying. Beautiful. Vulnerable.
Time stood still. We had our baby. Sanne was here.
And as I held her on my chest the world faded away. It was almost as if labor had never happened. I vaguely remember being stiched and cleaned. I don't remember Nathan leaving the bed or cutting the cord. I barely remember the french toast breakfast.
In a matter of minutes my life changed. I was no longer pregnant. I was a mother. And I was more in love with my supportive husband than ever before. Her father.
And we were connected . . . we were now a family . . . we were in love.
6 comments:
Thank you for sharing Barbara! What an awesome experience isn't it?
So glad Sanne is here!
Only one word comes to mind as the tears roll down my face-beautiful!
Jenny G
Is there an emoticon for joyous tears?? Love, Di
Goose bumps and tears. Thank you for sharing your experience. I am so proud of you and still so excited for you to have a daughter. Girl power!!
Tears welling up...I'm so happy for all of you.
Thank you for sharing.
crying while being sick already is not advisable. :) but that was a wonderful way to start my morning. I can't even imagine what it really felt like, but you did a wonderful job here of giving me a glimpse. love you!
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