Mind and Body

I have always believed that there is a strong correlation between mind and body. I have studied this in Psychology and seen this through the experiences of my own life and through the lives of people I love. I think it's safe to say that your attitude can greatly affect the way in which your body interacts with the world.

But today I have found an exception to that rule. Obviously, waiting for this baby is the main topic of conversation for us these days. Each contraction I feel seems like it may be the start of something so much bigger than us. In so many ways, our lives revolve around this moment that we are waiting for . . . the moment that will make the rest of our world stand still.

And we tend to talk to the baby as if it's her decision. The other night as I lay in the bath and watch her roll around in my belly, I thought she might be packing up her things and heading down the birth canal. I've asked her nicely to please come, I've tried to bribe her but the little one has a mind of her own. Or does she? I have come to learn that my body is actually the decision maker. When my body starts a surge of hormones, her body will react accordingly. She and my body will work as a team to miraculously get her from inside my cozy warm uterus, into our arms.

Somehow understanding this makes me wonder what happened to the power of my mind. I am in a place now where my heart feels so full, my mind feels so ready to do labor and I just want her here but my body isn't budging. It's all fine and good to pretend like I'm being patient, aware of the knowledge that she is just continuing to thrive and get stronger but I have to be honest with you . . . right now I want to say gently to God . . . Nathan and I have waited long enough. She has been growing in our hearts for over three years now and we just want to hold her, touch her, smell her, hear her, look at her. I share this organic, raw and honest thought with you because I don't finally don't feel shame for it . . . it is wonderful to want her here and I'm going to embrace that.

I have loved being pregnant . . . it has suited me well and has felt like such an honor to carry her . . . I am so proud of what my body has done even after years of fighting it. I will miss feeling her kicks inside, her movements and her closeness but I'll joyfully give it all up to bring her safely into this world.

So I am left pondering the relationship of mind and body . . . knowing that in a few hours or days, I will try to train my mind to trust my body . . . to let go.

Sometimes, it's best to have one thing step aside for another to lead.

Go Bears.