Are we there yet?

I have never been a patient person. I'm a planner . . . I think about the future a lot and I'm on top of most things. This makes time drag sometimes and with the dragging comes the anxiety.

I never knew the meaning of waiting until the first treatment where we waited for our blood test results to find out if we were pregnant. I would say that those were the longest 14 days of my life . . .but then we waited in another round and another round. . . .

Today we start our daily shots. It's a big day for me because I start the IVF treatment with a lot of fears. I'm scared to go under for the procedure, scared to grow 20 eggs in my body that feels bloated with 1. I'm scared to take the new meds, to see how I'll react, to feel sick and struggle with that.

Are we there yet?

Not yet. Not sure even where we are going or when we think we are going to get there or if we ever will. But one thing is for sure though, this journey has not been boring like driving through Iowa. . . it has been filled with hills . . mountains at times, some beauty through blessings and some scary tunnels we were never sure we'd get through. I'm glad I'm on the journey with Nathan. And as Anne Lamott so eliquently says it. . we are like the little kid in the back seat. . honking our little plastic horn . .thinking we are driving as God looks in the rear view mirror and smiles.

Jesus take the wheel.