The river

I have thought often about imagery during our infertility. I equate a lot of our situations in my mind to a river. We can never meet God in the same place twice. We are different people each time we encounter God, fluid in thoughts, challenges and fears. And so it is with the famous saying "you can't step into the same river twice." I could drive myself insane with all of the bends my mind has taken this week.

But what it amazing, and undeniably God's intervention, is the sense of calm I feel today. I know that there is so much change, so much fear in both Nathan and my hearts right now. These are big things . . not what we are going to have for dinner, or what our weekend plans are. Life changing choices.

Although my body is tired, aching from treatment and ready for a rest, my heart feels calm for the first time in a very, very long time.

And like life and like the river, I know I may not feel this way tomorrow so I am thankful for the moments I feel now.