A little fetus the size of a pinto bean is completely transforming our lives. We watched the images of the baby's head, flickering heart, blood flowing from the umbilical cord and leg/arm buds on the ultrasound this morning and everything else is our lives: the bills that we have to pay, the dishes in the sink . . . all faded away.
We still find it so unbelievable to know that we are growing a baby. And as I said to Johanna, I never want this to feel normal.
It's such a miracle.
Today was our last day at the clinic and as many of you know, this is a day that we've been waiting for to start to let go of the infertility. Not to ignore the process or erase the process but to give it, it's own space and time in our lives.
To honor it and walk away from it.
The clinic has been so good to us, wonderful and brilliant people with kind hearts. We are so thankful for our time there but I have to say, having Dr. Davies tell me that I'm now a "normal pregnant woman" has a power of it's own.
It's a weekend of celebration and something tells me that this whole pregnancy will be a celebration for us. A reminder that we are strong and that we endured. That hope is now in the form of a baby growing in my body. And that sometime on a snowy day in February, we will meet the little one and become transformed again.
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